Archive for the ‘funny’ tag
library quotes funny
Twilight Quotes and Excerpts?
Hey, I’m a BIT obsessed w/ the Twilight series, and since it’s practically impossible to check a book out at the library so many people want it, I like to read quotes and excerpts from the books online. (I’ve already read it by the way, just luv it sooooo much i wanna read parts of it again!) so…. it u know any really good/funny quotes from the books can u please say them? also if u know any sites w/ good excerpts would be really good. Thanks!
Preferably MORE than one quote too! Thanks!
Oh…… and I’ve heard the lion/lamb one a million times, so please don’t say that one!
Stupid unreliable vampire. -Bella Swan
Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me. -Bella Swan
Do I dazzle you? -Edward Cullen
I was 99.9% sure I was dreaming. -Bella Swan
I could do this. No one was going to bite me – Bella Swan (I laughed when I reread the book)
No Blood, no foul – Edward Cullen
I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. -Bella Swan
Am I annoying you? -Edward Cullen
Edward was a vampire. -Bella Swan
The wasting of finite resources is everyone’s business. – Edward Cullen
I was afraid that he might disappear in a sudden puff of smoke and I would wake up. -Bella Swan
“I think your friends are angry with me for stealing you.” -Edward “They’ll survive.” -Bella “I may not give you back, though.” -Edward …(didn’t that just give you chills?)
Am I annoying you? -Edward Cullen
But I’m tired of trying to stay away from you, Bella. -Edward Cullen
Hasn’t anyone ever told you? Life isn’t fair. – Bella Swan
I said it would be better if we weren’t friends, not that I didn’t want to be. -Edward Cullen
“What a stupid lamb.” -Bella
“Penguins. Lovely.” -Edward
“I’m with the vampires.” -Bella
“You are my life now.” -Edward
“This hostage stuff is fun!” -Alice
“Fall down again, Bella?” -Emmett
“What a sick, masochistic lion.” -Edward
“So eager for eternal damination.” -Edward
“You and Billy gossip like old women.” -Bella
“It’s a good thing you’re bulletproof.” -Bella
“It sounded like you were having Bella for lunch, and we came to see if you would share.” -Alice
“If we could bottle your luck, we’d have a weapon of mass destruction in our hands.” -Edward
“Speaking of Italy and sports cars that I stole there, you still owe me a porsche.” -Alice
“Did you seriously just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that on TV.” -Jacob
“You are exactly my brand of heroine.” -Edward
“Does my being half-naked bother you?” -Jacob
“You’re intoxicated by my very presence.” -Edward
“Don’t do anything funny while I’m gone.” -Emmett
“I may not be human, but I’m still a man.” -Edward
“You compare one small tree to the entire forest.” -Edward
“That was the first night I dreamed of Edward Cullen.” -Bella
“When his lips touched mine, it stopped beeping altogether.” -Bella
“The clouds I can handle, but I can’t fight with an eclipse.” -Jacob
“Do you want me to bolt the doors so you can massacre the unsuspecting townfolk?”
“I already know how strong you are. You didn’t have to break the furniture.” -Bella
“Another ending. No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end.” -Edward
“He’s only human, Bella. He’s going to react like any other boy.” -Angela
“Jasper; making you all warm and fuzzy about spilling your guts.” -Bella
“I was just wondering why you stabbed him. Not that I object.” -Edward
“If we had happy endings, we’d all be under gravestones now.” -Rosalie
“I can’t imagine how awful that must feel. Being normal? Ugh.” -Bella
“Well that sucks! I guess I’m stuck with Mike Newton after all.” -Bella
“I’ve already gone crazy once. I know what my limits are.” -Bella
“I think she’s having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her.” -Alice
“Until your heart stops beating, I’ll be here, fighting.” -Jacob
“Did you stab Edward Cullen with a pencil or what?” -Mike
“No, Emmett, I just punched a werewolf in the face.” -Bella
Stupid Shiny Volvo Owner. -Bella Swan- — that is one of my fave. quotes from Twilight =D
“Bella, how strongly are you opposed to grand theft auto?” ~Alice
“I’m betting on Alice.” ~Bella
“If I could dream at all it would be about you and I’m not ashamed of it.” ~Edward
“I’ve never seen someone so prone to life threatening idiocy.” ~Alice
“I’m really glad Edward didn’t kill you. Everything is so much more fun with you around.” ~Emmett
“Edward Cullen is staring at you.” -Jessica Stantly
Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars –points of light and reason….And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.”–Edward
I LOVE THE TWILIGHT SERIES!!!!!!!!!!! I AM COMPLETLY OBSESSED!!!!!!!
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DON’T MAKE ME SHUSH YOU! Mug Coffee Cup 11 oz ~ Librarian This high quality ceramic mug makes a great gift for anyone! The design is on both sides of the mug! The image is adhered through a heat process that makes it durable and long lasting. The colors won’t fade, so the mug can be enjoyed for years to come!… |
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SHELVE IT Mug Coffee Cup 11 oz This high quality ceramic mug makes a great gift for anyone! The design is on both sides of the mug! The image is adhered through a heat process that makes it durable and long lasting. The colors won’t fade, so the mug can be enjoyed for years to come!… |
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Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal $6.00 While the Bible may be the word of God, transcribed by divinely inspired men, it does not provide a full (or even partial) account of the life of Jesus Christ. Lucky for us that Christopher Moore presents a funny, lighthearted satire of the life of Christ–from his childhood days up to his crucifixion–in Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal. This clever novel is surely blasp… |
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My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands $5.40 Meet Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men… lots of them. In this raucous collection of true-life stories, she chronicles her romp through the bedrooms of a variety of suitors. My Horizontal Life is a fearless account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion…. |
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Diary of a Worm $6.99 Doreen Cronin (Click, Clack Moo: Cows That Type) and cartoonist Harry Bliss (illustrator of A Fine, Fine School) shed a whole new light on a creature that spends most of its time underground: the earthworm. Written in diary form, this truly hilarious picture book tracks the ins and outs of a worm’s life from the perspective of the worm family’s young son. Take June 15′s entry: “My older sister thi… |
funny librarian shirts
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I Love/Heart Librarians Plush Teddy Bear with BLUE T-Shirt $26.99 A great way to show someone you care. Or get a plush friend for yourself…. |
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Librarians Cocktails Funny Fitted T-Shirt by CafePress Perhaps the two most valuable and satisfactory products of American civilization are the librarian on the one hand and the cocktail in the other. – - – Louis Stanley Jast… |
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